Her eyes, burnt bright into the back of my mind, every time I close mine. The hatred, the fear, the love, all rolled into one, sitting there in one look. I still remember the last time I saw her, that last time I heard her voice, she couldn't even look at me. I still remember her favorite perfume, her favorite color, her favorite song. I still remember every single detail of her face, from the small freckles to the way she smiles. It's been a long time but I still remember.
I still remember her screaming, telling me I was useless, that I never did anything right. I still remember the bruises she left where no one could see. I still remember the nights I slept on the couch for not putting the toilet seat down. I still loved her though, even though everyone thought she was destroying me. They were right. This is the story of our final night, it's not long, it's not special, it's just what happened.
"What the fuck did you do this time?" She called through to my art studio. "What do you mean?" I called back, putting my paints down on the table and walking out into the hallway. "I don't know, but it seems like you've done something." She placed her hands on her hips, glaring at me. " Nope, been in here all day. "Did you do the housework?" Sighing, I leaned against the wall. "No, it didn't need to be done." I motion to the cleaned out space. "You're so useless." She said, storming over to me. "Babe, I wasn't doing anything, just chill." I run my hand down the back of my head, through my hair. "No, what the actual fuck? You should've just done your chore list." Her voice rose as I looked down at her. I'm a tall guy, but for someone so small, her temper is just ridiculous. "You didn't write one." I walk back into my art studio before she has the chance to get any angrier. "Well I shouldn't have to!" I see her fists clenching and instinctively step back. "Babe, I'm sorry." I said, sitting down. "No you're not, you liar!" It all happened so slowly, it sounds cliche but it was like time froze. Paint flew across the room, a pot hit me in the head, and her face was redder than I've ever seen it. "What the-" She smacks me before I finish my sentence and I just look at her blankly. "Oh." Is all I can say anymore. I'm used to this now, but this time was different, something stirred in me, adrenaline, anger, and as I knelt down to pick up my paints, she slammed her foot down into my spine. My eyes widened as I cried out in agony. My body went limp, and I blacked out. The next thing I knew was that I was in hospital and as my eyes opened, I saw that look. The hatred, the fear and the love. All of it at once. I couldn't stand to look at her, but I couldn't look away. "W-what happened?" I said hoarsely. "Oh my god I'm so sorry..." She sobbed, burying her head into my shoulder and crying. I go to comfort her but I can't move, my arms just lay there limply. "Baby what happened? I can't move." Panicking, my heart rate monitor bleeps faster. "Oh my god they were right... You're paralyzed..." She stepped backwards and looked away. Her voice was so quiet, so numb, yet so emotional. "What? How?!" My eyes open wide. "I'm so sorry... I should have been better to you... I did this..." She looks down, tears falling. "Alyssa... Get away from me. This has gone on too long, I tried to be good to you, tried to understand why you did what you did, but I can't." My voice was stern, I couldn't have hated somebody more. "I'm so sorry... Please find someone better than me, someone to treat you right. I'll go, but please just live a good life..." She looked up, and I sighed. "Goodbye."
A few weeks after, I found out the paralysis was only temporary, but it still haunts me to this day, no amount of therapy can get me to forget her, to forget what she did. But I can live, I can breath, I found someone new. It's been years since that day, and it haunts me every night. I have a new girlfriend now, we're engaged, getting married in Winter. My name is Ryder, and that was my story.
(This isn't a true story, nor is it based off a true story, I just felt like writing a short story and female on male abuse is quite a big topic, it happens and this is kinda just raising awareness so uhm, come back whenever because we upload whenever and thanks for reading.)
By
Jake Mackenzie
t(^-^t)
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